Now open nightly, 9pm to 4am. Please bring your own snacks. We will take them.

Raccoons for Adoption

26 masked bandits looking for their forever dumpster

Every raccoon below has been washed (by themselves, repeatedly, in your water bowl). All adoptions include one lifetime supply of chaos. Visit us after dark, when everyone is awake and in a mood.

1. Pick your bandit

Browse the lineup above. Choose with your heart, not with how many of your trash cans you'd like to keep.

2. Home visit

A raccoon will inspect your home at 3am. You will not be told when. You will know.

3. Adoption fee

One rotisserie chicken, unopened. Or opened. Honestly, any chicken.

4. Take them home

They already know where you live. That part was easy.